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February 07 2018

05:00
8059 e7e2
Backpack Decisions
"This one is perfect in every way, except that for some reason it's woven from a tungsten mesh, so it weighs 85 pounds and I'll need to carry it around on a hand cart." "That seems like a bad--" "BUT IT HAS THE PERFECT POCKET ARRANGEMENT!"

February 05 2018

05:00
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Super Bowl Watch Party
It's going to be weird near the end of May when the screen goes blank for over 18 hours.

February 02 2018

05:00
5965 55cd 390
Chicken Pox and Name Statistics
People with all six of those names agree that it's weird that we have teeth, when you think about it for too long. Just about everyone agrees on that, except—in a still-unexplained statistical anomaly—people named "Trevor."

January 31 2018

05:00
9790 1011
Fruit Collider
The most delicious exotic fruit discovered this way is the strawberry banana. Sadly, it's only stable in puree form, so it's currently limited to yogurt and smoothies, but they're building a massive collider in Europe to search for a strawberry banana that can be eaten whole.

January 29 2018

05:00
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Campaign Fundraising Emails
The establishment doesn't take us seriously. You know who else they didn't take seriously? Hitler. I'll be like him, but a GOOD guy instead of...

January 26 2018

05:00
9899 c930 390
Night Sky
There's a mountain lion nearby, but it didn't notice you because it's reading Facebook.

January 24 2018

05:00
9900 c1b2
Hawaii
Ok, I've got it, just need to plug in my security key. Hmm, which way does the USB go? Nope, not that way. I'll just flip it and– OH JEEZ IT FELL INTO THE VENT.

January 22 2018

05:00
9902 0596
Scientific Paper Graph Quality
The worst are graphs with qualitative, vaguely-labeled axes and very little actual data.

January 19 2018

05:00
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The End of the Rainbow
The retina is the exposed surface of the brain, so if you think about a pot of gold while looking at a rainbow, then there's one at BOTH ends.

June 14 2017

04:00
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Air Force Museum
I had fun visiting the museum at Dover Air Force Base, unless they don't have a museum, in which case I've never been to Delaware in my life.

June 12 2017

04:00
6653 1a21 390
Decades
In the 90s, our variety radio station used the tagline "the best music of the 70s, 80s, and 90s." After 2000, they switched to "the best music of the 80s, 90s, and today." I figured they'd change again in 2010, but it's 2017 and they're still saying "80s, 90s, and today." I hope radio survives long enough for us to find out how they deal with the 2020s.

June 09 2017

04:00
6063 e2d8 390
Glacial Erratic
"This will take a while, which sucks, because I'm already so busy chiseling out igneous intrusions from rock formations and watching Youtube loops of the Superman fault-sealing scene over and over."

June 07 2017

04:00
9042 e89d
Dubious Study
Sounds fine. I looked up the Academy, and it says on their MySpace page that their journal is peer-viewed and downloaded biannually.

June 05 2017

04:00
7001 084b 390
Drone Problems
On the other hand, as far as they know, my system is working perfectly.

June 02 2017

04:00
3055 fc87 390
State Word Map
The top search for every state is PORN, except Florida, where it's SEX PORN.

May 31 2017

04:00
9352 a57e
Voting Systems
Kenneth Arrow hated me because the ordering of my preferences changes based on which voting systems have what level of support. But it tells me a lot about the people I'm going to be voting with!

May 29 2017

04:00
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Opening Crawl
Using a classic Timothy Zahn EU/Legends novel is bad enough, but at least the style and setting aren't too far off. If you really want to mess with people, try using Splinter of the Mind's Eye.

May 26 2017

04:00
9356 3c84 390
Anti-Drone Eagles
It's cool, it's totally ethical--they're all programmed to hunt whichever bird of prey is most numerous at the moment, so they leave the endangered ones alone until near the end.

May 24 2017

04:00
9358 0b6c
Who?
Gonna feel even dumber when I realize that all this time he's been talking into a bluetooth thingy and we're not actually friends.

May 26 2017

04:00
9356 3c84 390
Anti-Drone Eagles
It's cool, it's totally ethical--they're all programmed to hunt whichever bird of prey is most numerous at the moment, so they leave the endangered ones alone until near the end.
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